Out of the Darkness into the Light.
by Dianna Naylor on Thursday, 15 April 2010 at 11:08
I only recently discovered that you could make notes on Facebook. Since I tend to write a lot, it will be your misfortune to see some of my random thoughts. LOL
Rebuilding my life has been...well, I am not sure of what word to use...amazing, wonderful, faith-building, exciting...All of those things that sound so cliche these days. It sure isn't cliche when it happens to you, is it?
I am so grateful for the miracle/Divine Intervention that has occurred.
Some of the difficulties are nagging at me though.
Energy: Now you wouldn't think this is a bad thing. It really isn't, but, I just don't know what to do with all of it. It has only been recently that it has been returned to me. It is uncomfortable at times. I find it hard to relax and to be able to sit still. Patience also ties into this for me. Because I believe that I have lost so much time, it is hard to slow down. I want everything...now.
Too much time to think: Mixed blessing for me. I tend to nit-pick at myself after awhile, or over analyze things. Let me how far I went for a minute. When I was told I had 90 days to get my license, I momentarily went on a free fall. I actually thought that I could not pass the the test, and that I would only have this job for 90 days...then what? I laughed when I realized that. Everyone else is thinking...Cool, she got a job! Here I am thinking that I lost it already! LOL I am over that. Snort.
Confidence: Tough thing for me. Maybe that isn't the right thing to say. Asking for what I want/need is more like it. Now mind you, my situation is totally different than it was, but that reflex or the fear of the answer/reaction still stymies me. The small things are just hard to ask for.
Stunted: Acutely aware of this. The cultural headset from where I lived to here is much different. I see that I have some catching up to do. I saw a lot of complacency, negativity, poor work ethic, a lot of underhanded behaviors, etc. A lot of craziness. Not saying that that stuff doesn't exist here. I know it does.
I just think in many ways I was held back. I am just more aware of this these days.
The waking up process is still occurring...If I were my client, I would tell them that yes, these awarenesses are real. That you need to slow down. All will come in time. You are stronger and more capable that you think. You'll be able to ask for what you need, and the fear will reduce. It's ok to ask. That there is a power greater than yourself in charge. You are way harder on yourself than you need to be.
You are human after all.
Rebuilding my life has been...well, I am not sure of what word to use...amazing, wonderful, faith-building, exciting...All of those things that sound so cliche these days. It sure isn't cliche when it happens to you, is it?
I am so grateful for the miracle/Divine Intervention that has occurred.
Some of the difficulties are nagging at me though.
Energy: Now you wouldn't think this is a bad thing. It really isn't, but, I just don't know what to do with all of it. It has only been recently that it has been returned to me. It is uncomfortable at times. I find it hard to relax and to be able to sit still. Patience also ties into this for me. Because I believe that I have lost so much time, it is hard to slow down. I want everything...now.
Too much time to think: Mixed blessing for me. I tend to nit-pick at myself after awhile, or over analyze things. Let me how far I went for a minute. When I was told I had 90 days to get my license, I momentarily went on a free fall. I actually thought that I could not pass the the test, and that I would only have this job for 90 days...then what? I laughed when I realized that. Everyone else is thinking...Cool, she got a job! Here I am thinking that I lost it already! LOL I am over that. Snort.
Confidence: Tough thing for me. Maybe that isn't the right thing to say. Asking for what I want/need is more like it. Now mind you, my situation is totally different than it was, but that reflex or the fear of the answer/reaction still stymies me. The small things are just hard to ask for.
Stunted: Acutely aware of this. The cultural headset from where I lived to here is much different. I see that I have some catching up to do. I saw a lot of complacency, negativity, poor work ethic, a lot of underhanded behaviors, etc. A lot of craziness. Not saying that that stuff doesn't exist here. I know it does.
I just think in many ways I was held back. I am just more aware of this these days.
The waking up process is still occurring...If I were my client, I would tell them that yes, these awarenesses are real. That you need to slow down. All will come in time. You are stronger and more capable that you think. You'll be able to ask for what you need, and the fear will reduce. It's ok to ask. That there is a power greater than yourself in charge. You are way harder on yourself than you need to be.
You are human after all.
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