Jeff's Vows

Jeff's vows

by Dianna Naylor on Monday, 07 February 2011 at 14:01

You’ll pardon me if I read this, but I’ve been thinking for a long time about what I wanted to say to you and to all of you, and I don’t want to stand here and have a brain fade and forget half of it.

When my grandmother got sick, I got angry. I was angry about the way this woman who had been so very good and very understanding to so many people for so long was being taken out of this life. I spent a lot of time thinking about it, and the more I thought about it the angrier I became.

On the day she was buried, it was so windy and so bitter cold, and I got sick myself. I was sicker than anyone knew, and I was sick longer than anyone knew. I was sick enough that I started spending some time thinking about my own life, and I found much that could be improved upon. I started to think about whether I would die the way my grandmother did, and that scared me. I decided that a lot of changes needed to be made, and I set about making them. Today I believe I’m not quite what I was.

One of the things I began to understand after a lot of contemplation and sleepless nights was that I needed to be with someone who shared my new outlook on life, who shared my morals and my beliefs, who wanted the things I want, who needed the things I need, who liked the things I like. I had no sooner than made some very difficult decisions about the direction I needed to go when Dianna Mutch showed up in my life again. I’m not sure quite what I believe about a great many things, but I have a difficult time pretending that I believe that happened by chance.

Father Andrew Greeley said, “We’re given second chances every day of our life. We don’t usually take them, but they’re there for the taking.”

I’m not completely sure I agree with him, I’ve found second chances to be rather rare things, and that’s what makes this so special for me. I am here today because I was given a second chance and I was smart enough to take it.

Dianna, I’ve known you practically my entire life. If you’re not the best person I’ve ever known, you’re certainly in the top two. Anyone who believes otherwise is simply wrong and doesn’t understand how fortunate they are to have someone as good as you in their lives. I’ll not take that for granted. You’re good for me. You make me laugh, you make it OK for me to occasionally be silly and even... sometimes... undignified. Although that tends to be more your goofy cat than you. A year ago I couldn’t quite envision myself allowing a cat to sit on my head, yet there he is.

You share my outlook on life, you share my morals and my beliefs, you want the things I want, you need the things I need, and you like the things I like. Over 25 years apart and you bought the same furniture I did, for heaven’s sake.

I won’t stand here and pretend to understand quite what you see in me or why you want to be my wife, but I’m not particularly in any mood to question it either. Sometimes you’re given a gift and the best course of action is to just say thank you, take it and shut up.

Thank you.